The BEST & WORST Of 2007 - Part 5

Movies Of 2007
What was meant to be a HUGE year for movies for me, wound up being rather……dead………well……..dead in the CINEMA sense anyway. It was the first time in my life that I only went to the cinemas a total of 2 times in one year! [but hey, one of those times was a 3D movie! wow!] And that’s weird for me, I’m like…movie boy!….cinema dude!.....film fella!........usually you’ll find me at the movies like…..20 times a year!......sigh. I guess the lack of cinema visits was a combination of a couple of things, the main one being the fact that I made friends with a nice Asian lady who sends me lots of err…..movies at home….IF you know what I mean [wink, wink]…….also, I’m a bit over spending my movie time with a whole crowd of idiots who shout/talk/sing throughout the entire movie...….like, fuck people are annoying. So my cinema experience officially ENDED this year! Will it return next year? possibly, BUT, no worries….the movies still kept on coming in this year, and I saw a fucking SHIT LOAD of them!.......



The BEST Movies...

10. A Mighty Heart Angelina Jolie
Dayum! This was HER movie, Angelina absolutely BRINGS IT in this. Her portrayal of Marian goes from quite and composed to complete loss and sadness. As the film goes along she just keeps unfolding, it’s so layered, the final scenes in the film are hard to watch, she was simply extraordinary in this.

9. Waitress Kerri Russell
OMG! what a CUTE movie!!!!...........i heard so many wonderful things about this and it really lived up to the hype. It's so pleasant and so.....colourful.......and so sweet.......i just.....i really did just love it. Kerri usually annoys me in movies, not sure why, i think it's her tiny triangle head and her fuzzy curly hairdo.......but she really won me over in this......from her baby hating to her pie baking........she was just OH SO wonderful! [skips in a circle eating pie].

8. Sunshine Cillian Murphy, Chris Evans, Rose Byrne.
Danny Boyle has made some damn GOOD movies in his time......Trainspotting, 28 Days Later......so it's no surprise that his first attempt at sci-fi wound up being fucking brilliant! It's part space drama, part supernatural thriller........and i loved every moment of it. Oh and another thing.....Chris Evans.....please remove all forms of clothing immediately, tks.

7. Dreamgirls Jennifer Hudson, Eddie Murphy, Beyonce Knowels
Forget Hairspray, the musical of 2007 was Dreamgirls!!!!!......i THINK this was released in late 2006 in the U.S, but over here it was released early January of this year, so i'm going to include it in my list!!!! Great songs, story and a STAR MAKING debut from Jennifer Hudson [forget Beyonce] this big bitch can sing!

6. Georgia Rule Jane Fonda, Lindsay Lohan, Felicity Huffman
When Lindsay isn’t on crack or crashing her car, she's showing us that she can REALLY fucking act, she was DAMN good in this! All of the woman were, they are the strongest point of the film and the chemistry between all three of them was BOOMING. But it’s Lindsay’s show, and WHAT a show she puts on. Go bitch, go!!!!

5. Things We Lost In The Fire Halle Berry, Benicio Del Toro
Halle’s character was a dumb bitch, but Benicio’s character was oh so sweet. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to date a drug addict more than I did with Benicio in this, lol! Of course with such great talent, you can expect nothing but top notch performances from both leads. Love me some Halle drama, she really is a great actress.

4. The Queen Helen Mirren
Wow, the Queen is a bit of a sour bitch, lol………what a FASCINATING insight into the goings on of the Royal family, you would think they’d be rather dull, but no……it’s quite the bitch fest behind those palace walls!!!!. Helen Mirren was rather IMMACULATE in this, her Oscar win was WELL deserved.

3. Notes On A Scandal Cate Blanchett, Judi Dench
Can Blanchett ever do any wrong?...........this bitch goes all out in this! Judi Dench does a good job as well playing the loony old lez! Pretty much had me glued from start to finish, which is no surprise considering who was cast in this. Cate got some serious acting balls!

2. The Mist Thomas Jane
Wow!............i was NOT expecting this to be such a fucking awesome movie! Such a GREAT concept for a story and one of the best Stephen King movies ever made. Had me glued all the way from the freaky beginning through to the surprisingly bitter ending! Thomas Jane did a great job in this as well.

1. 28 Weeks Later Rose Byrne, Robert Carlyl
I thought the first couldn’t be improved on, it was just so DAMN good, but no, they brought the story back and delivered the BEST movie experience I had this year! It still kept the feel of the first movie, which is SO important since it’s kinda like……..the “signature” of these films, and they gave us a whole new cast and storyline. Kept me on the edge of my sit from start to finish! Fucking AWESOME!

Special Mentions to: Year Of The Dog.........Grindhouse.........Shrek 3..........The Last King Of Scotland.

The Worst Movies...

Blood And Chocolate
Oh god, where the fuck do i start?.........AWFUL script, AWFUL casting.....most of these people couldn't act to save their lives! and the TRY hard attempt at a slick and modern werewolf film was VERY poorly executed. It looked like it was shot by an amature who was given a couple million bucks to shoot some sort of wankified Euro horror MESS. The movie had ONE thing going for it though, it's SO bad..........that i couldn't turn it off. I just HAD to see how this pathetic mess was going to end. Blood and Shit.

Daywatch
Everyone make way for the most boring movie of 2007!.............jesus fucking CHRIST, the sequel to what was a pretty cool foreign fantasy film wound up being a snore fest of BIBLICAL proportions. If you wind up watching this, make sure to have a pillow handy......LORD knows you'll need it.......and no, not to sleep on it, to suffocate yourself with it. Daywank.

Halloween
I couldn't even get through this pathetic TURD of a movie......note to Rob Zombie....STOP making movies! he has got to be one of the WORST directors around and he ain't getting any better. Oh and another thing Rob, STOP casting your wife in films, the bitch can't act! Oh and one more thing..........if your going to have bajillions of shaking bare titties in your movie, at least give us some sort of.......i dunno......REASON as to WHY this is happening?...........fucking AWFUL. Tittyween.

Ghost Rider
Let's get something straight here..............Nicholas Cage DOES NOT make a good superhero.........no!...........Nicholas Cage is also very unattractive........why was he cast in this?.......and why was Eva Mundane uh....i mean Eva Mendez cast in this?.......bitch can't even play a simple bimbo reporter role! I GUESS this was meant to be a dark comic flick........wound up being a fucking comedy. Crap Movie Role Rider.

Bratz
I filed an assault charge at my local police station after watching this, never have my eyes been so RAPED by something in their lives. The makers of this movie CLEARLY think 12 year old girls are a pack of fucking moronic twits..............how can ANY child actually ENJOY this???.........if i had a kid and it liked this movie, i'd smack it in the head and have SERIOUS worries about just HOW underdeveloped it's brain is. I tried to eat some ice cream after i watched this movie, but i kept trying to put the spoon in my eye?..........this movie must have done something to me, killed a few brain cells or something. Retardz.

I Know Who Killed Me
Good idea.............BAD execution!.........it's basically a MESS, it doesn't flow very well, it's choppy, it's badly acted, it's badly written, it has NO IDEA wtf type of movie it wants to be........thriller?.........drama?......supernatural something a rather?...........it's just like there was 50 ideas put into one script and then it was just........filmed! And don't even START me on the boring MESS that was the ending. I Know Who Killed Me...............yes, this movie did, BYE!