My Favourite Films Of All Time! # 12Bram Stoker's Dracula [1992]
Directed by: Francis Ford Cappola
Starring: Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins

" I have crossed oceans of time to find you."

If you're looking for the definitive Dracula movie, then forget Bela Lugosi or Christopher Lee as Dracula. All you need is this BEAST of a movie!.
Francis Ford Cappola may be known mostly for The Godfather, but to me, his true masterpiece was Dracula. The film is heavily based on the original novel by Bram Stoker, and it features the best portrayel of Dracula on screen, thanks to Gary Oldman in the title role. Before we get into that though, here's what Dracula is about....

In 14th century Romania, Prince Dracula [Gary Oldman] leaves his beloved Elizabeta [ha!] to fight against the crazy Turks invading his land. During Dracula's absence, Elizabeta hears false news of Dracula's death, and kills herself. On Dracula's return, he learns of his loves "bye bye" and goes a little nuts. In a fit of rage, Dracula renounces God and the Church for taking his lovers soul, and gives into his heartbreak and anger, which in turn makes him lose his soul, becoming the immortal walking undead FOREVERRRRRR!!!!!!

Fast forward to 18th century England, and Jonathan Harker must travel to Romania [the spooky Transylvania to be exact] to meet Dracula over some properties he has bought in England [ Dracula loves real estate! ha]. One night, Dracula catches a look at Jonathan's soon to be wife Mina in a photograph. She bares a striking resemblance to his beloved long lost Elizabeta, which sends Dracula into "obsessed ex" mode, forcing him to hold Jonathan captive in his spooky castle as Dracula sets off to England to woo the panties off Mina!.
Once Dracula arrives, he morphs into a younger version of himself and sets out to win Mina's heart. Dracula is a bit of a naughty boy though, so when he isn't taking Mina out on dates, he's drinking her best friend Lucy's blood and killing anyone else in his path.
Once Mina falls under his spell, it's up to Jonathan [who escapes his castle prison], and Dracula hunter, Van Helsing [Anthony Hopkins] to rescue her from becoming Dracula's undead bride!

The first thing you'll notice about this movie are the visuals. The movie looks BEAUTIFUL. The makers of the film wanted the movie to be very stylish and unique. A lot of work went into all the visual effects and iconic costumes [Dracula's titty wig anyone?]. They went for an OLD SKOOL style of effects shots that works really well in giving the movie a specific look and feel. At times, a few scenes may look a little "fake" [backgrounds ect], but that was the point. It all works anyway, so it's not something that will stick out a lot.My favourite thing about the Dracula story, is that on the surface, it's a basic vampire horror tale. But underneath it all, it's an incredibly erotic and powerful love story. Think about it, this guy loses the love of his life, and would rather GIVE UP HIS SOUL and wait for his one true love to return one day, then to die. He turns himself into an evil monster, all in the name of love. And when Mina realizes who he is, when she remembers him from her past life, even as a monster, she still wants to be with him. In the end, it's Mina who is the only one who can release him from his endless existence. It's powerful stuff. It's one of the most romantic films i've ever seen.

Romantic undertones aside, there is some serious vampire fuckery in this movie. Most notably involving Mina's best friend Lucy. Poor Lucy. She really gets fucked over and becomes a she devil!. Dracula feeds off her every night, causing her to crave blood and be horny 24/7. When he pays her visits, he appears to her as a werewolf creature and fucks her outside. That's some serious beastiality shit right there!. Then, he finally makes her one of his "brides" [there are 3 others, Dracula is a pimp, ha], only to have Lucy staked to death on her fist night out as a fresh new vampire!. Lucy can't ever seem to get a break, lol. She does look cool as a vampire though.

As i mentioned before, Gary Oldman is THA MAN as Dracula. He REALLY plays this role with a lot conviction. He acts his ass off!. He seemed to really drown himself in the role from what i saw during behind the scenes documentaries. He's incredible to watch.
Winona does a good job tooth whistling her way through her role as Mina. Anthony Hopkins plays Van Helsing as a bit of a mental case, but it works, and he provides some humor. Sadi Frost as Lucy is creepy as fuck, and looks like she's having a ball, very memorable character. The only wobbly casting comes from Keanu Reeves, who's a bit hit and miss throughout the movie with his stiff neck and stupid floppy hairdo. Oh and Monica Bellucci gets her titties out as another of Dracula's brides..................in case any guys would like to know.

I keep revisiting this movie over and over. I watch it nearly every year, and i never get bored of it. I've never met anyone who didn't enjoy it either, it's just too well put together. Some say it's a bit style over substance, but with some of the performances in it, you can;t say the movie is ONLY nice to look at. It's so much more. I love it.

Aoooh!The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Starring: Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Kristen Stewart
Directed by: Chris Weitz
4/5

THIS is the Twilight movie i've been waiting for!!!!! The series has had a massive quality boost when compared to the first movie. Not that i hated Twilight........well....i kinda did on first viewing, but it grew on me, and i've come to accept it, even though it's MASSIVELY flawed. New Moon however, nearly reached PERFECT status at certain points. In fact, as an overall film, i was VERY pleased with the final result.

I give big props to director Chris Weitz for bringing a breath of fresh air to NM. Gone are the indie style camera movements and saturated blue tones of the first movie [which i liked]. Instead we have more of an Earthy looking film [in tone with the werewolf theme], and a much slicker and interesting style of direction. The tone and look of the book was captured perfectly. I can't fault anything about it. I'm happy to see Catherine Hardwick [Director of Twilight] gone from this project. No offense to the ladies reading this, but, this story needed more of a masculine touch to it. Catherine and her shaky cam and grainy close ups would have ruined this for me. It suited movie 1, but not this.

The introduction of Jacob was one of my favourite parts of the first movie, so it's no surprise that his beefed up role in NM made me enjoy this movie a lot more. In fact, Kristen Stewart had even BETTER chemistry with Taylor than she did with Rob Pattz. Bella becomes MUCH more like able when she's around Jacob. She smiles, she shows a range of emotion, she isn't just a droning, stuttering fool like she is when she's with Edward. They're a likable couple. Of course, i can't NOT mention Jacobs ripped abs, which were greeted by howling screams in the cinema every time he showed up, lol. I personally don't get it, you'd think the women in the audience hadn't ever seen a gym body before. He's a handsome young guy though, so i get it, but that's the issue with him for me, he's just too young to drool over. He is great in the part though.

Another great addition to the cast is Dakota Fanning as vampire Jane. She doesn't do much, but when she does pop up, she's a scurry lil' thang. The rest of the vampire clan, The Volturi, are pretty cool too. Especially Michael Sheen as Aro. Victoria's return in the film is also handled really well, and we get a great forest chase sequence [which wasn't in the book] between her and some werewolves. GREAT scene.

This IS Twilight, so it's not going to be problem free. There's still a bit of cheese thrown in every now and again. The main moment being a scene featuring Edward and Bella frolicking through a forest, dressed in Abecrombe and Finch clothing, all done in slow motion. It's laughable that it was included, and really took me out of the movie.
The vampire make up is also still really fucked. They look cool, don't get me wrong. They certainly LOOK "other worldly". But for vampires to LIVE with humans, there needs to be some sort of believability to how they appear. These vamps look anything but human. Sometimes they look fucking ridiculous!.........like Jasper for example!!!!!! They fucked up his face in movie 1, but wait till you see him in this. GOOD LORD! it's like Edward Scissorhands bleached his whole head! he just looks really ugly and shit. Edward was looking a little on the pancake face side as well. Almost as if he was melting, like wax. No.

They make up for all of this with the AWESOME werewolf effects though. They were actually kinda scary, very big, and very vicious. I thought they'd make them a bit more cuddly, but they pulled them off well. I only wish we saw more of them.

Aside from minor make up gripes, and cheesy scenery, the rest of the movie was really enjoyable. It's getting a very mixed reception from fans, and not a very good one from critics, which is surprising me, because i find Twilight to be so inferior when compared to NM, but people seemed to enjoy Twilight more. Maybe it;'s because i enjoyed the NM book so much, i dunno. I really loved it. As a fan, i had a blast!

Britney Spears
The Circus Tour 2009
Acer Arena
2.5/5

The crowd: Absolutely INSANE. The loyalty of her fans was OBVIOUS during the show. I've NEVER been to a show with SO MUCH screaming and devotion. It was nice to see, especially after endless media reports about walk outs and upset fans. It was clearly only a small percentage of people who didn't enjoy the show, because from what i saw, most people seemed to have a blast.
The crowd was the most interesting one iv'e seen so far at an Arena tour [besides GaGa's crowd]. SO many poofs and SLUTTY girls, lol, but in a good way!
The female fans were awesome, the crowd was filled with Barbie doll look a likes, some in Britney costumes, others practically in their undies and heels. Even the fat girls bleached their hair and put on the pinkist skirt they could find. Had a tranny sitting in front of me too.

Opening act: Well known Aussie female Dj, Dj Havana opened the show. Cool set up, hot girl, jumping around in her tiny undies and stilettos. Set the mood for the type of show we were about to see.

The show: Firstly, the set up for the tour was done well. The entire stadium glowed pink [gay], and they had sprayed the entire arena with her perfume. I felt like i was sitting inside Britney's vagina or something, was cute :). Once Dj Havana finished her set, they had a big 25 minute countdown to Britney's arrival. It was the PERFECT crowd warmer, because once we got to that last minute, lawd oh lawd, lol, that crowd fucking lost their minds. GREAT way to start the show.

Britney started with Circus, then worked her way through Piece of Me, and a couple of other songs. It was exciting seeing her. She's SO famous, and because i've been a fan for years, i couldn't help but get a few butterflies inside my tummy. I wasn't going nuts though, it just didn't call for it.

As we approached the middle of the show, things got a bit more interesting. Me Against The Music was GREAT. Best performance of the night, they utilized the stage the most during that. The stage was a bit tricky to navigate at times i noticed. There were some songs where she'd just have oher back to us for an entire song. It left you feeling a bit "um.....hello bitch, i'm over here!".
Other stand out moments were Do Something and Get Naked. The dancing in get Naked was really good, and Britney seemed into it. Breathe On Me was funny. The guy they dragged up on the stage looked pleased with the fact that Britney was shimmering her hips in front of him. He was some big jock, he looked REALLY excited in the pants region. I think he was straight, lol.

Other parts of the show i liked were the videos shown. The opener with Perez was done well, so was the Sweet Dreams mask party video.

Now for the not so great stuff.

Miming. This is the first "live" act i've seen mime a show, and it will be my last. I was obviously aware of what i was in for going in, and that's fine, i still chose to go. After going through the experience though, i can't say i got too much out of seeing someone lip every song on stage.
The main problem is the CONNECTION. When you mime a song, there's NO connection with the audience. I don't care if the song is only about shaking your ass!, if you sing it live, it puts a bit of conviction behind it, and it makes me enjoy it more. I don't mind a bit of miming during parts of songs where choreography comes in. But at least sing the majority of it live so i can actually connect with you on SOME level during the show. With Britney, there was nothing like that there. The show felt like it was on auto pilot, and she felt a million miles away.

Another thing, audience interaction. I don't expect ALL acts to sit and chat with the crowd like Pink does. I'll admit, it's a GREAT way to really make an audience feel close to you if you acknowledge there presence in some way, but it's not desperately needed. Britney had ZERO interaction with us. She said "Hello Sydney" and then "Bye Sydney". That was it. She just wasn't............"there". And i don't mean in a "drugged out" way. Her energy levels were good most of the time and she looked like she was having fun, but it was like watching a robot "do her thing" and then leave.

The tour design was nicely done, but i also think at times it was a bit too much. It felt like the performances were DROWNING in the lights and special fx. I wanted to see Britney, not smoke bombs and flying chairs for 5 minutes while Britney dances at one end of the stage where i couldn't see her past the pretty lights. It was overkill sometimes, and i wished she'd PULL BACK some of the sets to allow us in a bit more.

The miming, the lack of audience interaction, the veil of visual effects............it all worked to make her feel like she was a million miles away on that stage. It was just empty.

Overall, as a fan, i had a decent time. She's got some great songs under her belt, and some of the performances were nicely done. What made the night was the crowd atmosphere and the music. As a touring act though, i can't say Britney left any sort of lasting impression on me. I wish i could say she did, but she didn't. I saw the show, and pretty much didn't think about it by the time i got to my car in the car park. I suppose that's what you get when everything she has to offer on stage is so.........."false".

I've been following her career for 10 years, and i'm still a big fan. I'm glad i can at least say i saw her ONCE in my life, just for the thrill of it. Would i ever see her again though? No. I wouldn't.

Sorry Britney, but..............after seeing her fellow pop friends like Pink, Beyonce and GaGa [who only had a shitty club stage may i add], Brit just ISN'T in the same league on stage. At all. In any way shape or form.

What happens when you sleep?Paranormal Activity [2009]
Directed by: Oren Peli
Starring: Some random people
4/5

There's been so much hype around this movie that i can barely see straight. It's taken the world by storm, and many people are saying it's one of the scariest movies ever made. Some critics even labeled it the scariest film EVER. That's a big title, and a few films over the years have received it. The only movie that's ever lived up to that hype for me has been The Exorcist, so i went into PA with curious eyes. I left all expectations at the door when i went to see this, and was thankfully pleasantly surprised. By "pleasantly surprised", i mean, CREEPED THE FUCK OUT a few good times.

The story follows a young couple named Katie and Micah. They move into a new house, and we soon learn that Katie has a few problems with ghosts. One "ghost" in particular has been following her most of her life. Katie's getting a bit annoyed by being terrified by shadow figures during the night, so her boyfriend decides to record each night as they sleep, so they can catch some raw footage of the haunting taking place. The "ghost" doesn't like this idea very much, and as the nights go on and as creepy footage is captured, the shit starts to hit the fan in a major way.

That's pretty much the entire movie. You follow these people day in and day out, hearing them talk about what's happening, seeing them get stressed, and see paranormal activity occur during the night. What's great about the film is that it has a really nice slow build up to the events that take place closer to the end of the movie.
We get to know the couple during the daytime scenes, some people hated them, i personally liked them. The night time scenes are when MOST of the "freaky" stuff happens, which is probably why it's best to see the film with a smaller crowd. Those scenes work best in complete silence. There's a lot of sound use in the film that really makes your spine tingle, sometimes it's very subtle, other times it's loud as FUCK.

It's hard to talk about the movie without giving too much away, it's best you go in with no idea about scenes or stand out moments. So if you haven't seen the movie, don't read on......if you have, highlight the muted text to read my thoughts of specific moments [or skip to the black text at the end of the review for no spoilers]:

The realistic use of the night cam gives a really great eerie feel to the movie. You feel like you're seeing the real thing and it helps build atmosphere every time the lights are out and the hauntings occur.
Another great effect during the night cam footage: Every time something creepy is about to happen, the play a foreboding sound that lets you know something isn't right. It's an amazing effect that worked like crazy on me, and the rest of the cinema [who went silent each time it happened].

The stand out scene for me was when Katie gets dragged from her bed by her foot. It really fucked me up, and everyone in the cinema was really freaked out, lol. The way it was executed was PERFECT, everything from the way her foot gets gripped to the dragging down the hallway and her screams of terror. It looked exactly like how it would in real life [i assume]. Absolutely spine tingling and completely unexpected. That moment is one of my all time favourite scenes in a movie ever. It's SO well done.

Other nice parts.................the footage of a Ouija board being left alone in the house, creepy stuff, the bed sheets being lifted up over Katie's legs as she sleeps, Katie watching Micha sleep while in a trance, spooky, and the ending where Katie screams for Micah right before throwing his lifeless body at the camera sitting in their bedroom.

The film isn't perfect, and it's not for everybody. There IS a pacing issue in the first half of the film, and a day scene or two could have been shortened or left out completely. The ending, as great as it was, does mess with the tone of the film a bit, and it did get a bit too "Hollywood" for my taste. Other than that, i didn't really find much else wrong with the movie. On repeat viewings it'll most likely lose a bit of it's bite, but in the right setting it could easily be enjoyed again in a second screening. As a first viewing experience though, GREAT stuff. Lots of fun.

When this was initially released through film festivals earlier this year, 99% of the crowd reaction to this was extremely positive. The critical reviews have been strong during it's entire release as well. With lots of hype comes eager people ready to rip a film apart though, and now this is suffering the same situation Blair Witch did back in the day. People go in readying themselves to be TERRIFIED instead of just enjoying it for what it is. I'm sure there are many people out there who genuinely found it boring, or not scary. It's not a masterpiece by any means. But it's also the perfect movie made for the cynical crowd who refuse to get caught up in the latest fad out of some strange desire to PROVE EVERYONE WRONG by hating a movie. It's a bit ridiculous.
In saying that though, as i mentioned before, the film is getting rave reviews by the critics [and still many movie goers], and that's always welcome in my book since horror films are disregarded by critics so often because the genre churns so much crap.

Ignore what everyone else tells you. Don't listen to the hype, don't listen to the complainers [they always try and ruin a party], and try and see this film in a dark room, with as little people as you can, with the volume turned up full blast. If you like a good slow burner, you'll be in for a few treats with this.
Is it the scariest movie ever made? no, is it genuinely creepy? fuck yes.

I'm waving my PA fan flag loud and proud!

She's Evil!Jennifer's Body [2009]
Directed by: Karyn Kusama
Starring: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried
3.5/5

Megan Fox plays Jennifer, a beautiful cheerleader who becomes the victim of a ritual sacrifice at the hands of Satanic worshipers. Problem is, Jennifer doesn't die, in fact, the sacrifice goes a bit wrong and Jennifer returns from the dead, possessed by a flesh eating demon and ready to eat her way through high school.

Enjoyable movie. I didn't expect to be blown away, but it looked decent enough, and i'm a Diablo Cody fan, so i knew it'd have enough positives to pull me in. Some people think Diablo tries too hard with her scripts, creating new words, trying to be witty ect. I actually like her style, it reminds me a little of the writing from Buffy, so i can enjoy it without feeling like she's trying to force "indie cred" onto me. The writing actually turned out to be funnier than i expected, i found myself laughing at a few of the lines, and the characters for the most part were like able.
The storyline was simple and to the point, and even though there wasn't a lot of depth to the characters, they still gave enough for us to like them. They were cast well also. Amanda Seyfried was great as Jennifer's best friend, and Megan Fox did a good job as well. Megan doesn't have much to do in the Transformers movies. She spends most of the time bending over a lot and screaming out "Sam" [not in that order]. Her role in JF isn't exactly brain science either, and it's mostly set around her looks [which are smokin'], but she at least gets to have a bit more fun with this role than she did in Transformers. She has a chance to sink her teeth into something a bit more interesting and it comes across that way, she's having fun, you can tell. I'll be interested to see how she does with more complex roles in the future. I don't think she's the terrible actress some people make her out to be. She was definitely watchable in this.

Another part of the film i liked was the direction. It was nicely shot and edited, slick and stylish. The horror wasn't too over the top, but there's enough of it there to give casual viewers their blood fix. Hard core horror fans may be disappointed by the lack of gore, but the film never sold it self as a straight up horror flick anyway, so whatever expectations you have as a horror fan, maybe don't bother trying to meet them with this movie.

It's not as rewarding as Juno [which Diablo also wrote], but it's certainly entertaining enough for at least one screening. It's an easy watch, it doesn't ask too much of the viewer and it just gets on with it. It could have been a little darker, a bit gorier, a but more fleshed out story and character wise, but it's a decent enough package as it stands. I liked it.

PS: There's some people who said Ginger Snaps did this story better, i agree with that.

PPS: For the boys out there, NO you don't see Megan's tits in this.

My Favourite Films of ALL TIME! #11The Exorcist [1973]
Directed by: William Friedkin
Starring: Linda Blair, Ellen Burstyn, Max Von Sydow

" Is there someone inside you? "

Oooooooh, cover your eyes bitches, it's The Exorcist!!!!! The greatest horror film ever made!!!!! THERE, I FUCKING SAID IT!!!!! It scared the panties off me as a kid and it still CHILLS me to my bone now days. It's one of those movies you grew up knowing about. You wait and wait until you get to an age where you can FINALLY feel brave enough to see it, and when you do, BAM!!!! it's CREEP central! for most people anyway.

This was one of those movies i used to rent when i was a teen and i'd get creeped out even HOLDING the movie in my hands at the video store. As usual with horror VHS rental tapes, it was old, looked like it had been in 600 peoples houses and stank of plastic. That just added to the creep factor though. Speaking of creep factor, anyone notice how the horror section in video stores always seemed eerily quiet. It's a genre that's an acquired taste, so it was never booming with customers. It always seemed like such a "forbidden" section to be in. I loved that.

The Exorcist follows the story of a young girl named Regan [played perfectly by Linda Blair], who finds a Oujie board in her new house and starts playing with it. She tells her mother [Ellen Burstyn] that she talks to a spirit by using the board named Captain Howdy. Her Mother assumes Regan is just messing about as troublesome teenagers do, and she laughs it off. Soon though, Regan starts acting a little "strange"..........and by strange, what i really mean is, completely and utterly FUCKED UP! Her bed shakes uncontrollably, she starts speaking in tongues, she stabs her pussy with a crucifix and she even pisses on the floor like a cow.

OBVIOUSLY these aren't exactly NORMAL things people do, so Regan's Mother sends her to a few doctors to run some tests. After a whole bunch of hideous testing, the doctors come to realize that they can't actually diagnose her with anything........so they recommend more of an, unorthodox form of treatment for the girl. To her Mother's surprise, she is told to visit a church to get the help of an Exorcist. It's at this church that Regan's Mother meets Father Merrin, a young Priest, who's never performed an exorcism in his life, but who decides to offer his help to a very desperate and emotional Mother trying to save her haunted daughter.
Once Merrin enters the house, the shit well and truly hits the fan! Regan is walking backwards on her hands and feet down stairs, making her head spin 360 degrees, swearing and vomiting her way through all hours of the day and night. Merrin and Regan's Mother realize they're in way over their heads, so they seek the help of a skilled Exorcist named Father Karras, who coincidentally came head to head with the demon inside Regan many years ago.
What happens next is a whole lot of crazy demonic possession, and 3 people fighting to save the life of a girl who may not live much longer if the demon inside her kills her.

Most people who are reading this have most likely already seen this movie. Some of you however may not have, and it all may seem a little.......over the top. Obviously, it is. The makers of this film didn't hold back at all when it came to what they showed on screen. When they say "a girl gets possessed", they really fucking mean POSSESSED!
Even though the movie is over the top with abusive language "stick your cock up her ass you mother fucking worthless COCKSUCKER!", there is still a lot of strong atmosphere in the film that really takes you in and makes you suspend belief and just accept what it is that your seeing. Don't get me wrong, if you've had a few drinks, you may find yourself giggling at a few of the lines Regan throws at you. But there's not denying how creepy and unsettling some of the scenes can be, and it's the more quieter moments in the film that really showcase that.

The acting in this movie is SUPERB! Ellen Burstyn is perfect as Regan's Mother, and Linda Blair is REALLY good in her role as Regan. She was so young when this movie was made, i can't believe some of the stuff they asked her to do in this. How does a young kid play something SO dark? incredible. That's one thing about these 2 characters in this film, they have a very close Mother/Daughter relationship, so when things go bad, you really feel for Regan's Mom.

The version of the film i'm talking about is the one dubbed "The Version You've Never Seen". This was released in cinemas in 2001, and featured a few added scenes as well as some tweaked existing scenes. Some fans of the original film feel that some of the new additions [mainly involving a demonic face that pops up every so often] were unnecessary......personally, i liked every new addition they added to the re-release, i wish they added even MORE to be honest. I could watch this movie for 3 hours!

If you've never seen this before, go rent it, put it in your DVD player, turn off ALL the lights, turn the volume up full blast and cuddle yourself in your seat.
When this movie first opened in 1973, it had people fainting in horror in the cinema isles. Although it may not have the exact same impact today, there's no denying that the movie for most people, is one of the creepiest films ever made. It's very evil.

The Box [2009]
Starring: Cameron Diaz, James Marsden
Directed by: Richard Kelly
3/5

James and Cameron play a married couple who get given a unique box by a stranger who tells them if they press the button on the box, they'll get a million dollars. The catch is, in order to get the money, a person they don't know, anywhere in the world, will die. Can they live with that on their conscience?

Erm, well..........um.....not really sure......how to describe the movie since i got a headache trying to wrap my brain around every part of what the hell this thing was all about.
It's a slow burning movie, so if you're looking for something fast paced and exciting, you'll probably be really bored. It has a similar tone to the The Invasion and those old skool mystery sci fi flicks. In fact, it was a lot more sci fi than i expected.
There's a nice slow build up and mystery around everything that's happening for most of the films running time. In fact, you pretty much have NO IDEA what ANYTHING means until you get to the final 15 minutes. And even then it still didn't make as much sense as i would have liked. They throw it all onto you in one long go, so it gets a bit messy and a lot of random things happen that don't get any explanation at all. You just have to accept it as "weird stuff" because of the storyline.

It's cast well, the story itself is interesting, and the reveal itself is something i wouldn't have guessed either. It did kind of leave me feeling a bit "oh....ok", at the end. I felt as if the ending should have shocked me in some way, or given me more to chew on, but it just felt like an over long reveal that told me what i needed to know, but in slightly anti climatic way. The story never really lifts off the ground as much as i wanted it to.

Overall, it was enjoyable, but not for everyone. It also didn't need to be as long as it was. It's not the type of movie you could watch over and over, and it's not really something you need to run to the cinemas to see. Dvd would be enough for this thing.

It's memorable because it's SO fucking WEIRD. But in other ways, it's also kinda forgettable as well.

It was decent.

My Favourite Films Of ALL TIME! #10
Labyrinth [1986]
Directed by: Jim Henson
Starring: David Bowie, Jennifer Connelly

"You have no power over me."

It's a rare thing when a childhood movie stays with you for your whole life. Labyrinth is one of those movies. There are many films from my childhood i still adore, but there are only a few that truly have a certain SOMETHING else about them. Something so unique and special, that they stay in your heart forever. Corny right? i know.....but fuck it, when it's magic, it's magic, and Labyrinth is fucking MAGIC.

Here's the story....

Young, innocent, bushy 80's eye brow teenager, Sarah [Jennifer Connelly] is left to babysit her annoying baby step brother, Toby. During a huge baby cry fest, Sarah tries to silence Toby by reciting a riddle to him. It's a riddle from one of Sarah's favourite fantasy books, which she doesn't realize holds REAL power. To Sarah's shock, not only does the riddle make Toby shut up, but it also makes him disappear all together!
Sarah soon finds out that the evil, but charismatic Goblin King, Jareth [played by Bowie] has kidnapped Toby and is holding him captive in the Goblin City in another dimension. Unfortunately for Sarah, the Goblin City lies on the other side of a giant magical labyrinth. The Goblin King sets her a task, solve the labyrinth in 13 hours, and Toby is hers again. Fail, and Toby belongs to the Goblin King forever!. Unknown to Sarah, the Goblin King is going to purposely try and make her fail so he can use his seductive ways to charm her into staying with him as his Queen in his Goblin Realm. Basically, the labyrinth is gonna be a BITCH to solve. And if she can try and not listen to her craving pussy when it comes to Jareth, she may make it out with her step brother as planned.

I dunno about you, but that's some serious fucking awesome story telling right there! I mean, LOOK at that movie poster! fucken A!

Labyrinth is the type of kids movie that will be watched for years to come. Nearly 25 years on, and the people who grew up with this movie are now showing it to their kids. On DVD it's a big seller, and it gets a new release every few years. It's even JUST hit Blu ray!.
It's a classic movie that doesn't wear thin no matter how old it gets. I suppose that's due to Jim Henson, the worlds most famous puppeteer, who produced and Directed the movie. If you don't know Jim Henson, that's kinda fucked up. He isn't a big player anymore since he passed away, but 25 years ago Jim Henson was as big as Disney. He's most famous for The Muppets series, you know, Kermit, Miss Piggy ect...............EVERYONE knows those characters, so if you don't know Jim, then you would know some of his creations.
As well as the awesome puppet work in the movie, there's a GREAT soundtrack thanks to the genius David Bowie, who sings a few songs in the movie. The film is a musical, but the numbers are so good, it doesn't distract from the rest of the movie. There aren't THAT many songs either, so if musicals aren't your thing, don't worry, there's plenty of dialog. I can't help but clap furiously when Bowie breaks out to DANCE MAGIC!, or feel nostalgic when i hear the opening number 'Underground', or the beautiful 'As The World Falls Down'. That song features in my favourite scene from the movie. It's a beautiful ballroom scene which takes place inside a crystal ball nightmare where Sarah is seduced by the mysterious Bowie. The costume Sarah wears is LEGENDARY! If i ever go to a costume party and see a chic in that, i'll know EXACTLY who she's dressed as. Sigh.

An interesting thing about this film is that there's a mildly sexual aspect to Sarah and Jared's relationship. Underneath the pretty puppets and catchy songs is a story about a young girls growing sexuality. It was obvious to me even as a kid. Jareth has an odd fascination with Sarah, he actually really wants her illegal pussy. And she's no sweetie pie either, she becomes completely over taken by his desire for her. They flirt like crazy, it's actually kinda hot! haha. After seeing Bowie's character in the movie, you may think "hot?"..........but trust me, there's chemistry between the characters and Bowie's portrayal is unexpectedly provocative. Bowie is great in this actually, he's a good actor.

One other thing that may stand out to you in this movie, is something a little unexpected. It's Bowie's BULGE!...............yes, that soft little bump all men have in their crotch region! "Why?" do you ask?...........let's just say, wearing TIGHTS when you're "well endowed" only accentuates what lies between the viewer and a thin piece of cloth covering their DICK! ha. Even as a kid his bulge stood out to me like crazy. Ask anyone who's seen the movie, they'll laugh and echo my exact words.

As usual with most of the childrens films i like, this isn't JUST a movie kids can enjoy, all you older bitches can love it too. Sure there's the amazing nostalgia attached to it from my end [and many other people], but seriously, you can enjoy this movie no matter what your age is. All you need is a big imagination and being open to 80's fantasy AWESOMENESS.

I've never met anyone who hates this film, so if you ever watch it and dislike it..............GO TO FUCKING HELL AND DIE YOU HEARTLESS LOST CHILDHOOD CUNT!.

Bless you xx.

Top 10 Albums of The 90's
Since the last decade will be over once 2010 hits, i started thinking about what 10 albums made the most impact on me over the last 10 years [which will go into a list i'll be posting on here sometime next year]. It got me thinking about the previous decade we had also, the decade i grew up in and am heavily influenced by, the 90's.
So here's my top 10 albums of the 90's, it was a tight race for a few choices, but i managed to pull a list out that was pretty good......


10. Janet Jackson The Velvet Rope [1997]
The album isn't perfect from start to finish, there are a couple duds. But the overall tone of the album is REALLY nice, very mature and beautifully produced. Creatively it's Janet at her best, and it was the best "look" she had too. It's a mellow album for the most part, but there are enough mid tempo beats in there to cruise the songs along without getting boring. Let's not forget the interlude called "Speaker Phone" which features Janet masturbating on the phone while talking to Lisa Marie, lmao, hmmmmm.
It's a shame her output has been kinda average since then. She was once very cool.
Best tracks: Go Deep, What About, Velvet Rope.

9. Moby Play [1999]
One of the most influential dance acts of the 90's finally hit it big with his 'Play' album. This album takes me waaaaay back, such a great nostalgic trip. The album took over the world when it was released, it was everywhere. If you aren't familiar with it, chances are you've heard many of his songs in movies over the years and don't know it. Moby mixed house beats with gospel vocals, a style that became his signature. 'Porcelain' is one of the most beautiful songs i've ever heard.
Best tracks: Machete, Why Does My Heart Feel So Sad, Run, Porcelain.

8. No Doubt Tragic Kingdom [1995]
If there's one music genre i kinda hate, it's Ska. No Doubt made it listenable to me though, mostly because their songs were SO catchy and mixed with other styles. The lead single 'Just A Girl' was a big obsession of mine when it was released, and the rest of the album made a big impact too. When i think 90's, No Doubt are one of the first things that pop into my mind. Their other albums are great too, but this one is their most consistent.
Best tracks: Don't Speak, Are You Happy Now?, Sunday Morning, Just A Girl.

7. Def FX Majick [1995]
99% of you will most likely NOT know this band or album, but that's understandable.....they're a local Aussie act. They're an industrial group who hit it big with this album after being an indie act for a while. Some REALLY great metal/industrial tracks on this, all led by a real life Wicca [aka: Witch] named Fiona Horn. Synths, guitars, drums......it's kinda Nine Inch Nails in places. Old skool, yo!
Best tracks: Mind In Mine, God Rod, Hymn To Her, Majick.

6. Garbage Garbage [1995]
Who doesn't like Garbage???? they were MASSIVE in the 90's. They had a trademark sound and singer Shirley Manson became a God to her fans. Their debut [which is the one i'm writing about] is perfect from start to finish. It's the only album of there's that doesn't have ONE bad track on it. Fans toggle between this album and their second one, Version 2.0 [which is also good], as far as favourites go. For me, this one is the one i seem to re-visit the most.
Best tracks: Milk, Happy When It Rains, Vow, Stupid Girl.

5. Marilyn Manson Mechanical Animals [1998]
Manson has been a favourite of mine for years. I grew up on a lot of his stuff, and i still adore it. This album was Manson at his best. It's the perfect mix of metal and electronica, and the era probably features his wildest look [he had tits for fucks sake!]. It's a beautifully dark album, really deep synthy base lines and heavy guitars. The great thing about Manson is that as well as doing some awesome loud tracks, he can write a great ballad too, and there's some great ones on here. He can surprise you too, on the track 'I Don't Like The Drugs', he goes gospel. Ha!
Best tracks: The Dope Show, Coma White, Speed Of Pain, I Don't Like The Drugs.

4. Bjork Post [1995]
The 'Post' album cover is SUCH a massive symbol of the 90's. Every time i see it i know exactly which decade it came from. It was a hard choice picking which album of hers would make this list, she had 3, and i toggle between them quite a bit as far as which is strongest. Her 3rd album of the bunch 'Homogenic' is probably her most impressive production wise, but i feel 'Post' showcases her at her most accessible and quirky. It's a good mix of commercial and indie. Hyper Ballad is one of the best songs ever made.
Best tracks: Army of Me, Enjoy, Possibly Maybe, Hyper Ballad.

3. Hole Live Through This [1994]
This was a tough choice, i had to pick between this album and their one after this, 'Celebrity Skin'. They're both good for different reasons, but i think this album is the more influential and probably has the better hooks. It's very raw sounding, not as polished as the following album, but that's where it gets it's charm i think. Not one crap song on the record. Perfect.
Best tracks: Doll Parts, Violet, Rock Star, Jennifer's Body.

2. Nine Inch Nails The Downward Spiral [1994]
One of the most influential albums of the 90's. NIN and it's singer/creator Trent Reznor were the leaders of industrial music in the early 90's. The album is a MONSTER of a record, it's insane from start to finish. Loud, angry, dark and sexy. I'm SO glad i grew up on this album, it opened me up to industrial music and made me fall in love with the genre. I was playing this shit when i was 10! isn't that badass!?. NIN are still around and still producing great music, they've never topped this album though, it's just TOO MUCH. Fucking amazing.
Best tracks: Reptile, Closer, Heresy, A Warm Place.

1. Madonna Ray of Light [1998]
My precious Madonna. To the 80's kiddies, Like A Prayer was her big Golden moment, to the later generation of fans, Ray of Light is what turned a lot of them into fans. I've been a fan since i can remember though, i grew up on Madonna. After missing in action for 4 years, she came back in the late 90's and blew everyones eye balls out with ROL. Mature, beautifully produced, and a completely different side of Madonna we'd never seen before. I hate using the word, but it's very "lush". The album takes you on a journey. It's still her best album after 25 years imo.


Honorable mentions:

Portishead Dummy
Souxsie & The Banshees: Twice Upon A Time: The Singles
TLC Fan Mail

fin ;)

My Favourite Films of ALL TIME! #9
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring [2001]
Directed by: Peter Jackson
Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Cate Blanchette

"You carry the fate of us all, little one."

My oh my! No favourite film list is complete without a mention of The Lord of the Rings [LOTR for short]! Technically, i'd include ALL 3 films in this post, but....since it was a trilogy, i'll actually PICK one just to be specific. There were 3 films in total, and i guess the obvious choice to go with would be the last movie, The Return of the King. That's where the story hits it's climax, where everything comes to an end, and where the battles get the biggest. Most people tend to go for that one. I love all 3 films equally, but for me, the first movie, Fellowship, is the one that i seem to revisit the most.

The overall plot for the trilogy goes something like this: An evil warlord from the past named Sauron wants to wage war against the peaceful lands of Middle Earth once again. The power to do this lies within a tiny gold ring which was forged many years ago between the races of people in Middle Earth. In order to stop Sauron's return, a group of people working for the forces of good must band together and trek their way through Middle Earth towards Mount Doom where they can throw the ring into the lava pits, destroying it forever.
In Fellowship of the Ring, we see the introduction of these characters and the beginning of their journey throughout Middle Earth. Don't think just because it's the first chapter, that it's light on the adventure, it isn't, i assure you!

I think Fellowship was the perfect mix of all 3 films. It had a nice mix of light and dark, where as The Two Towers [part 2] and Return of the King [part 3] tended to just get darker in tone as they went along. There's an innocence in the beginning of Fellowship which i really like seeing, and considering just HOW BIG this story is, the build up of introductions in Fellowship really excites me because it works as a teaser for what's coming up in the other 2 films.

There are so many great moments in Fellowship. I hadn't actually read the books when i saw this movie for the first time [i still haven't], so it was all coming at me with virgin eyes, and i was LOVING it. Once the evil Nazgul [those scary cloaked horsemen] arrive in lil' ol' Hobbiton, i was on the edge of my seat. That was topped soon after once Frodo [Elijah Wood] and the other Hobbits were confronted by the Nazgul again during an overnight sleep on a hill top with Aragorn [Viggo Mortensen]. Poor Frodo gets his little shoulder stabbed, and we also get a chance to see what the Nazgul look like WITHOUT their black hoods on. Pretty cool stuff.The stand out moment from the entire movie for me however was the Orc battle in the Mines of Moria. Shit on me!!!! what an epic fucking display! Not only do we get the Fellowship battling it out with giant Trolls, but we also have thousands of Orcs scaling pillars and walls, coming in for the kill so they can get their hands on a meaty piece of "man flesh"!!!. Just when you think it can't get any more dangerous, the Fellowship are then faced with battling the fiery BALROG [sp?] as they rush across the Bridge of Khaza Dum to safety. That creature was fucking BADASS! the whole thing was made of shadow and fire, the digital work on that thing was beautiful!

The most controversial part of this movie was a scene involving Liv Tyler's character, Arwen. Basically, her scene belonged to another character in the book, so fans were pissed off. Maybe if i was a massive fan of the books, i'd have been offended by this change in character as well, but to be honest, it's one of my favourite moments in the entire trilogy. SOMEONE had to rescue Frodo! and if the character who was supposed to do the job wasn't in the film to do it, well....hand it over to Arwen then, no biggie. She looked cool doing it anyway, but then......i have a soft spot for chics with weapons too so....ha!

It had been a LONG time since we saw a truly epic fantasy adventure film before LOTR came along. They were so big in the 80's, and that genre seemed to die out in the 90's. It was a genre i LOVED as a kid, so to see what most people consider to be the greatest fantasy books on screen after so many years of fantasy free cinema, was a real buzz for me.
These films became an annual event for a lot of people, for 3 years i anticipated the next chapter. It was a great movie experience seeing these on the big screen. They're instant classics, the types of movies that people will watch 100 years from now. They have that special magic about them. I revisit them ever few years and it's a blast watching them over and over as time goes on. I never get sick of them and i wish they were even longer than they already were.
Props to Peter Jackson for pulling off what many people thought was impossible.

My Favourite Films of ALL TIME! #8The Doom Generation [1995]
Directed by: Gregg Araki
Starring: Rose McGowan, James Duvall, Johnathon Schaech

"That'll be, Six Sixty Six"

Gregg Araki isn't well known amongst people who don't watch a lot of indie cinema. He's made some angsty classics though, most of them in the 90's. In fact, in my opinion, his movies are ESSENTIAL viewing for ANYONE who grew up in the 90's. His last film is his most critically acclaimed and well known, Mysterious Skin. Doom Generation is a bit more of a low key event though, and you'll find many people who haven't seen it, or even heard of it.

The movie follows teenage couple, Amy [Rose McGowan] and Jordan [James Duvall]. They spend most of their time hating the world and going to punk clubs. They take a road trip one night and unfortunately cross paths with an eccentric, horny and head shooting hitchhiker named, Xavier [Johnathon Schaech], who is INSANELY hot may i add.
Jordan warms up to him instantly, Amy however becomes very hateful of Xavier's ridiculous behavior, AND is madly attracted to him at the same time. Xavier quickly sets off on his merry way, much to Amy's delight, but they meet again not long after when Amy and Jordan are held up at gun point by a store clerk, who then gets his head shot off by Xavier who rescues them. Soon they're on the run from the law, bumping into the most retarded psycho freaks you'd ever meet on the road, and trying to cope with a threesome relationship that's starting to get a little TOO disastrous for their own good.

There's 2 things about Araki that stand out the most in his films: One, is his love for all sorts of SIGNAGE. He always has bold words, warning messages and big signs on walls, chairs, cars and other assorted objects in ALL his films.
Secondly, his unique dialog. The script is filled with hilarious lines and quirks. Rose McGowan's wobbly style of acting is perfect for the way these lines need to be delivered. She has a blast with them.
Most of the swearing and funny insults are left for Amy, "Look, you fucking chunky pumpkinhead! I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!". Xavier get's all the dirty talk, since he's so oversexed and inappropriate, "Come on, sniff my finger and tell me it doesn't smell like your girlfriend's sweet, juicy snatch". While poor innocent Jordan is left with lines that any philosophical stoner could recite, "I love you" can mean a lot of things... like "you'll do 'till someone better comes along," or "I can't describe how I really feel but I know that I'm supposed to say this," or "Shut up, I'm watching TV." The three of them together are just insane!

I've seen this movie countless times over the years. I even loved it back when i FIRST saw it in 1996, when i was only 12! It still holds up today for me and it's one of those movies you WISH more people have seen so they could understand what the hell you're talking about when you tell them to "eat my fuck". It's typical Araki, low budget, and filled with sex and violence. I love it.

Kudos to Araki for opening the film with a Nine Inch Nails track too. Badass!

My Favourite Films of ALL TIME! #7
The Witches [1990]
Directed by: Nicolas Roeg
Starring: Anjelica Huston, Rowan Atkinson

"You're in for a treat"

Lawd oh lawdy! Any kid who grew up in the 90's has most likely seen this film. It's one of those rare "too scary for kids" type of childrens movies that i love so much. These types of movies don't seem to pop up as much anymore, which is a shame.
I knew nothing of the book it was based on, and i saw it for the first time back in 1991 when it had JUST hit video and my teacher at the time rented it to show it to the class. It freaked me the fuck out, but i loved it.

The movie follows the story of a young boy named Luke, and his Grandmother. She tells him scary stories about her time as a little girl and the encounters she had with real life witches in the town she lived in. One day Luke's parents die in a car accident, and his Grandmother becomes his sole guardian. She takes him on a trip to England where they stay at a hotel, and during their stay, The Grand High Witch [played by Anjelica Huston] organizes a conference for all the other witches of England to attend.
Soon Luke finds himself learning that witches are in fact real like his Grandmother warned him, and it's up to him to stop The Grand High Witch from turning all the children in England into MICE!
Why mice?..........well, witches find children to be like vermin, mice are dirty little things, so they choose to turn them into rodents. Ha!

If there's one thing that sticks out like crazy from the moment you first start watching this movie, is that it's FULL of atmosphere. The story that's told in the beginning about the girl who goes missing and then appears as an imagine in her parents painting in their home is really creepy. As a kid, that freaked me out! and watching it as an adult, it still has a very haunting feel to it.
Another highlight is when Luke encounters his first witch as he's playing outside in a tree. The woman is creeptastic, like some sort of child kidnapping psychopath dressed in a nice outfit.
The witches meeting is also a scary mess. Not so much because it's spooky, but because the witches are so hideous removing their wigs and shoes. You could just picture one of them creeping up after you as you tried to hide. They're fucked.

The best thing about this movie is Anjelica Huston. It's such a great career moment for her. Every time i think of her, this is the first movie that pops up in my head [as well as Ever After]. She plays evil so well, she has the look, and she has a strong presence on screen. She looks like she's having a blast playing The Grand High Witch, and every time she's in a scene she steals the show. You can't take your eyes off her.

The movie is HUGELY underrated. You'll find more people who haven't heard of it, then those who have. Those who have however, all agree on one thing, that the movie is creepy!. I hope to see a nice DVD package for this one day, so far it's only had a bare bones release, and not even in every country.
Don't be turned off by the fact that it's a kids film. It has a great story, some genuinely eerie moments and Anjelica rips it up. It's definitely for everybody. In saying that though.........i'm not sure if i'd let a kid under 5 watch it, if it freaked me out at 6, i can only imagine what it'd do to someone even younger. If you're looking for something to scare your kids with to keep them away from strangers though, show them this, it'll work like magic, haha.

Whew Chald!Beyonce
I Am... Tour 2009
Acer Arena

First the opening acts....

Jessica Mauboy: Yay!!! Australia's new r&b Princess had the biggest moment of her career nabbing the chance to open up for a megastar like Beyonce. She was great on stage, very energetic and even threw in a song i didn't expect to hear [To The Floor]. The girl is screaming for her own show! i'm sure it'll happen in due time. JESSICA!!!!

Flo Rida: Unfortunately for Beyonce, the build up to her show was ruined by the this dull and randomly put together opener. The first thing that confused me was Flo's entrance....for the entire part of the first song i didn't even realize he was on stage. There were 2 guys rapping, dressed the same and wearing caps, i'm supposed to tell these mongs apart???? Anyway, eventually he revealed himself properly, and i can't say i was impressed, the guy looked boring on stage. Taking his shirt off didn't heighten much of the performance either since the guy is about as sexy as an old shoe. Another strange thing about his opener was how he organized his songs. He only sang a minute and a half of most of the tracks, and would then stop to talk to the "lovely ladies", or give away something.........like TOWELS! What was with the fucking towels? he just kept signing them and throwing them to everybody, haha! he even gave away a giant gold necklace, it was so fug, lmao.
Anyway, thankfully it came to an end soon after his uneventful entrance, and i was able to stop rolling my eyes.

Beyonce: I've seen a few live shows this past year, and even though the shows have been GREAT and the acts have been VERY well know, there's just something different about seeing someone so other worldly famous like Beyonce.
She made a nice dramatic entrance, lights, smoke, a sexy silhouette, and then BANG! she kicked right into her first song quickly. It was Crazy In Love, the crowd was absolutely insane, stomping and screaming for her. She was hair flipping and hip shaking her ass off like crazy. If she pumped her crotch and threw her hair about anymore, i thought she was going to break a limb, it was great. She threw out a few more songs [including Freakum Dress, woo!] and her dancers finished off the first part of the show dancing and popping to Get Me Bodied.

She slowed it down after that with Smash Into You, and a beautiful rendition of Ave Maria. She was dressed in some sort of white wedding dress, and it looked so magical on stage. They toyed with a lot of lighting in the show. They kept trying to make her glow like some sort of Goddess on stage, it looked cool. Her voice was really powerful live, she sang the tracks beautifully. She finished off that section with one of my favourite moments of the night, Broken Hearted Girl. The performance itself was very straight forward, but i love the song and she sounded great.

Sasha Fierce makes her first appearance soon after this. There was a great video interlude featuring a robotic Beyonce and a cheetah. I heard Sweet Dreams was left off the set list for some of her shows and i was hoping mine wouldn't be one of them, sadly it was. It played during an interlude for a minute and that's all i heard from it. It's a shame, it's a big hit here atm and the crowd went crazy when it started playing. It didn't matter soon though because once DIVA kicked in, my brain melted a little. The bass line on that track has always been hot, but hearing it live was really awesome. She popped her pussy so hard in this part, it might be my favourite part of the show for me. To my surprise she also sang Radio, which i also liked.

Throughout the night, Beyonce did her trademark sweat soaked towel giveaways, haha! It was such a random thing to do, but the crowd go ape shit for it, so i can see why she does it. Sometimes she'd be singing so hard, that she'd snatch a towel from the crowd and furiously slam her face with it and then she'd throw it back to the fan and he'd get hit in the face with it, LMAO!!!!! it was fucking awesome. Bitch needs a towel!!!!!!

She had some really great video interludes being played between segments. My favourite was the one that appeared before Baby Boy. It featured Beyonce tossing a coin in an empty cave [i think that's where she was], and the coin landed on the side that featured Sasha's face. Then Sasha showed up taking the moment from poor B and walking off onto the stage. Loved it.
Soon after that Beyonce was floating over the crowd from some wires and preparing for a Destiny's Child medley, which she finished off with a few other solo songs like Check On It and Video Phone.

After this she slowed it down again to sing Listen from her movie Dreamgirls, and then she sang her own version of At Last to video footage of President Obama. Nice moment, the audience really loved it.

At this point the show had been going for a while and once the backdrop on the stage started playing a whole collection of YouTube clips of people dancing to Single Ladies, the crowd went fucking mental, and we knew we were about to see the big finale. The clips were hilarious, and once Beyonce came on stage, NO ONE was sitting down. EVERYONE was dancing or standing. At one point, Beyonce urged the women to "put cho hand in his face!" and all the women were flipping their hands all over, lmao! It was a true SISTA HOOD moment.

Once Single Ladies wrapped we knew she had an encore. After a short break she returned to a roaring audience for Halo. It was nicely done, but something a little unexpected happened. At one point earlier in the show, i noticed [on one of the big projection screens scanning the crowd] a little girl who looked like she had cancer. She didn't have a lot of hair, and she was right at the front of the stage. Beyonce stopped the song and made an announcement on stage about the girl, she asked the girl if she wanted to come up, and she did. The little girl introduced herself as Chelsea. She looked about....5 years old, and she had the sweetest face and voice. Beyonce then dedicated the rest of Halo to her. Beyonce was on her knees next to her, hugging her and singing, Chelsea was singing along, and when Beyonce started changing the words to "Chelsea, we can see your Halo", the girl started to cry, and so was EVERYONE in the audience. It was a really touching moment and the whole audience was just silent and in tears. I really had to hold myself back because i was getting really emotional. Chelseah seemed to love the dedication though and it was a beautiful way to end the show, even if it was slightly depressing.
After that, the show was done.

Beyonce was amazing live. She seemed really happy with the crowd reaction to the show. At one point, she started singing Irreplaceable, and she only got through about 30 seconds of it. The rest was sang PERFECTLY insync by the whole crowd, she looked SO impressed, haha. Nice moment.

She's a superstar.

My Favourite Films of ALL TIME! #6Kill Bill Vol. 2 [2004]
Directed by: Quentin Tarantino.
Starring: Uma Thurman, Daryl Hannah, David Carradine.

"Revenge is a dish best served cold"

Ok, so technically Kill Bill was created to be ONE movie. Hopefully for the fans of this project, we will see the long awaited "Whole Bloody Affair" edition of the film on DVD, where the movie is edited back into it's one picture format. Until then, we need to get over this whole one movie bullshit and come to terms with the fact that it was released in 2 volumes! YES! 2 volumes! We also need to accept the fact that, both volumes are actually VERY different in tone AND style. So if anyone wants to bitch at me for only picking ONE of the volumes instead of both because it was actually "one movie", i'm telling you now, piss the fuck off! It's 2 volumes, and they're both different as fuck!

Now, let's get on with this.....

The overall storyline that goes across both volumes of Kill Bill is as follows: The Bride [Uma Thurman] was shot in the head on her wedding day. She was shot by her boss, Bill [David Carradine], who happens to be the head of a group of elite assassins, a group The Bride herself is a member of. The only problem with this killing is that Bill didn't shoot her quite good enough, so The Bride survives and lays in a coma for a few years. The Bride was also pregnant at the time of her attempted slaying..............oh, what a mess. Bill and the other assassins who were responsible for The Brides situation assume she'll never wake up from her sleep, but they're wrong!!!!!! One day, The Bride wakes the fuck up! and she remembers EVERYTHING, and she's fucking PISSED OFF! They killed her unborn baby, they killed her friends, and they took her life for 4 years as she lay bed ridden and plugged into a machine!
Over the course of 2 volumes, The Bride tracks down each member of the assassin crew who malled her down on her wedding day, and she takes them out, one, by one. She just doesn't shoot them, or strangle them either, no.............she cuts them the FUCK up with her Hitaro Hanzo ninja sword! And i'm talking about some SERIOUS body count fuckery here!What's the difference between the two volumes? Well, MOST of the flashy action happens in vol 1. It's slick, it's fast paced, it's Asian film inspired, and it features lots of outrageous violence. Vol 1 is fucking bad ass! and i love it just as much as Vol 2. But for me, the bulk of the story is what i loved in Vol 2, which is why it gets the head above vol 1 for my fav movie list.We really get to delve into The Brides history and relationship with her ex boss and ex lover, Bill. The fast paced feel of part 1 is dropped for a much quieter and slower moving story. We find out about how The Bride discovered her pregnancy, where she was trained to become an assassin, and who the remaining clan of killers are that she has set out to wreak revenge upon. Both volumes compliment each other in different ways. For me personally though, it's the story heavy second part that kept me more interested.

It took me a couple of viewings before i was able to sit and really enjoy Vol 2 for what it was. The difference between both volumes is pretty strong, and if you wanted mindless action and fun like you got in vol 1, you may be a little disappointed. But don't fret too much, because vol 2 certainly has it's handful of violent moments! The stand out being the show down between The Bride and the one eyed cunt Queen, Elle Driver [Daryl Hannah].
Action isn't what you watch vol 2 for. You watch it to see The Bride finally take back what was hers, and you also get to find out what the BIG secret in vol 2 is. Well, technically you found out that secret at the end of vol 1, but you see the effects of it in vol 2.
You also get to see the meeting between The Bride and Bill, which isn't about "fighting" at all. In fact, you get to see them slog it out with some tense conversation and big reveals! It's a great scene when they meet again for the first time. Another standout moment from the film is the flashback of The Bride training with Kung Fu master, Pai Mai. It's the only "Asian cinema" throwback in the film. Unlike vol 1, the rest of vol 2 is actually a lot more western movie themed.

Unless you're into really brain dead action, i doubt you'll be hard pressed to NOT get into vol 2 of Kill Bill. It may be slower and more script heavy, but it's so well written, which makes it easy to move on from vol 1 and enjoy what Quentin has to offer character wise with vol 2. There's so much meat to the story, and it's perfectly acted by everyone involved. Uma is fucking amazing in these movies!
Prepare for a bit of change after you see vol 1. Don't worry though, it's a change you'll welcome soon enough once you realize how badass the remainder of the story is. There's really no other way you can describe the movie other than calling it something like "badass". Both volumes are epic, and together it's one great long watch. Separately though, it's vol 2 that has the special magic for me.

My Favourite Films of ALL TIME! #5Dancer In The Dark [2000]
Directed by: Lars von Trier
Starring: Bjork, Catherine Deneuve

"You don't need eyes to see"

Well..............HOW exactly do i go about describing this movie? It's one of those few films i've mentioned before that has left an everlasting impression on me after only one viewing. I don't even KNOW if "impression" is the right word to use. It sounds like too soft of a word............how about, INDENTED INTO MY FUCKING BRAIN FOR ALL FUCKING TIME!!!!!! [breathes]..........ok, ok........i'll calm down.........but seriously, this movie really fucked me side ways emotionally.
I remember when it first came out, the only thing i knew about it was that Bjork was nominated for an Academy Award [to my surprise and joy], and that Bjork turned up to the awards ceremony wearing a now infamous swan dress that came with a matching bird egg purse, haha! oh Bjork! you kooky kooky thing! I'm a Bjork fan, so the movie peaked my interest because she was in it.
Eventually it hit video stores and i picked it up one night. I hadn't read any reviews and i had NO idea what it was about. All i knew was that my older sister had seen it and she told me it left her practically traumatized by the end. She saw it during it's cinema run and she said the entire audience was in tears. Other than that, i knew of Bjork's award nomination and that the film was a critical hit.

So there i was, going into the film blindly.....

The movie starts off very pleasantly. We get introduced to Selma [Bjork], a young mother who has immigrated to America and is working to save money so she may get her son an operation that will stop him from going blind. Selma has this same disease, and for her it's too late, so she spends her days working and drifting off into imaginary musicals to keep herself happy and sane. Selma loves musicals you see............she skips about in her quirky song and dance routines, counting steps and making beats out of metallic clanking sounds and acting merry. It's all very sweet and loving, and it leaves you feeling all "awwww" at the situation. Her poor son.

Turns out life isn't SO sweet though. No, it REALLY isn't. Without giving too much away, we see Selma go from a struggling Mother trying to save her son, to a struggling Mother trying to save HERSELF for something she gets in trouble for. It takes an utterly HEARTBREAKING turn and it leaves you feeling sick and depressed! i'm serious!The movie starts off with Selma doing nothing but smiling and enjoying her fantasies. By the midway point though, the movie is a non stop downward spiral into misery and sadness. We see her shining face turn to loss and sorrow. She sings a song called 'Scatterheart' at one point, it's a song that's about her being DELUDED about the awful events that have just occurred. She sings along pretending the entire incident was make believe. By the end of the song though, reality kicks in again and she ends the song breaking down and realizing how deep she's gone. Watching that transition left me choking. You just feel SO much for this woman, you want to help her so much, but you just know nothing will fix the mess she's in.
I kept watching the film hoping Selma would get a chance to redeem herself and clear her name. Sadly though, it just doesn't get any better.

I was practically rocking back and forth during the final scene in this movie. It was an emotional roller coaster watching the events unfold in front of me. I knew why this movie was ripping the hearts out of people who were watching it world wide. The story completely grabs at your soul and just tears it apart into hundreds of pieces! By the time the credits rolled i really had to sit and absorb the whole thing.

I have only seen this movie 2 times in total. It's NOT the type of film you can watch over and over because it could lose it's impact a little. I like to remember this film as i first saw it, and when i one day watch it again, i'd like it to have been a while so i can absorb it all in again. The movie should be savored.

If you don't like Bjorks style of music, you may find the very few musical numbers a little uninteresting. BUT.........all of the songs flesh out the story, so lyrically you'll get a lot out of them. Aside from that, i can't find ANY other reason as to how anybody could watch this and not be moved in some way by it. Every person i have met you has seen it has always had a very powerful experience watching it. One guy in particular was so distraught by the end of it all, he couldn't even sit through the ending in all it's entirety.

Before i finish my write up on this film, i need to point out how INCREDIBLE Bjork is in this movie. It's a story that she has said was easy for her to relate to, having her own son in real life to reflect on for the part. It's the only serious acting role she's ever undertaken, and i'm not sure how she would do in any other role, but her belief in this one was SO real that it translates POWERFULLY on screen. As i mentioned before, she was nominated for countless awards [and won a few] for her role in this, even an Oscar. She said if she didn't win the award, she'd never act again, apparently the role took a lot out of her. Sadly, she didn't win, and she's stuck to her word, she's never done any acting since. A shame really.

The movie has a very indie feel to it, so i'm not sure if i'd recommend it to everyone. However, for anybody who can handle such a beautifully filmed movie with gut wrenching intensity, you'll be in for a treat. Just take a box of tissues with you when you watch it, you'll need it i assure you. Don't bring a gun though, you may feel inclined to USE IT on yourself by the time it's over. Ha!