Sunday, December 27, 2009

Heidie Mongtage and Spencer The Pratt are two of the mot vapid idiots the media has ever set it's lenses on. This year, we saw Heidick try and launch her much delayed [thankfully] music career. We saw our first glimpse of it when her block faced boyfriend, The Pratt, filmed a music video for his brain dead girlfriend called Black Out. The video featured Heidumb rolling around in a bikini at a pool side. The song was utter shit, and 90% of the video budget went to filling Heidingbat's tits with silicone. Did they honestly think this shit would sell?
Then came Heidong's debut stage performance at some random pageant show. She mimed her way through the song and danced badly. Honestly, it's like i'm watching a pop star from 1998. Times have changed Heidingle my sweet, we already have one BRITNEY, and she does it a lot better than you do.
There was also The Pratt's claims about Heidump being the next MADONNA, and being better than Lady GaGa. Funnily enough, when The Pratt and Mongtit's were seen at a Lady GaGa gig earlier this year, they were pelted with glow sticks and were forced to leave the venue after only one song.
Aside from failed attempts at having careers, these two retards show their HUGELY hideous mugs on red carpets around America and talk a lot of shit. Most of the shit comes from The Pratt's humorously triangular shaped mouth, which seems to open and close at a rapid rate as it release fecal matter after fecal matter. Does he honestly think anyone cares? does Heidope honestly think people find her attractive? does Pratt not realize he has a hilarious President like hair do and punchable face? do people HONESTLY like these 2 idiots? because oddly enough, they do have SOME fans. Most of the people who like them tend to be The Hills fans anyway, and that doesn't say much does it?

They are the most pointless and unlikeable couple in the world. I would give them this award every year for the rest of my life if i could.

See Heidick's crap 'Black Out' video here

Let's get one thing straight, kids are bastards. I don't usually like them, and when i do, they need to be well behaved and polite. Every so often though, a child comes along, that is so amazing, i can't help but bask in it's kiddie splendor!
Balloon Boy is a lying little cunt who joined forces with his parents to pretend that he was trapped in a floating helium balloon. It was all over world news! cameras followed the balloon as it crossed the skies, and everyone feared for Balloon Boy's safety. While the world waited for the poor Balloon Boy to be saved, he was sucking his thumb and laughing at the stupid adults on TV from his basement.
I know what you're all saying, "but the parents forced him to do it!"...............bullshit!. Kids are some of the most evil creatures on Earth, he knew EXACTLY what he was doing!. The kid doesn't care, he knew he would get away with it because he's a tiny person. His parents who devised the whole plan took the wrap.

I take my hat off to you Balloon Boy, child mastermind extraordinaire!

Until next year xx.


Mas OvaltinePls said...

I don't like my kids to be "well behaved and polite".

In fact, I actually quite enjoy the contrary.
Not because I dream of the ringing sound in my ears from the excessive screaming or the shit stains the little fucker left on my couch, but I like to take my anger out on the little gremlins.

They're my scapegoat for life.

I'd actually feel bad if I kicked a well behaved kid in the shins. :(

Anomaly said...

Then don't kick a well behaved child, lol.

Mas OvaltinePls said...