Saturday, April 10, 2010

3D Schmee Dee!
Look, i'm all for TECHNOLOGY and what it has to offer. I'm a techno whore, i love it. But there is a limit to how much fuckery i can take, and lately, this "coming soon in 3D" trend that's happening is starting to really bore me.
3D should ONLY be implemented if the actual film is CREATED in 3D, like Avatar for instance, or the new Tron film, Tron Legacy. That's when the medium has some sort of creative substance, and gives the film added visual DEPTH. All these new films transforming into 3D flicks AFTER being filmed though, that's some serious bullshit right there. Why? because it DOESN'T work!. It just looks like card board cut outs, because the 3D was added as a bonus, so it just looks like a children's pop up book. If i want to see that, i'll just go down to my local library and sit my ass down in the kids reading area.

I made an exception for Alice In Wonderland when that came out, because i thought, even 3D as an after thought would look decent in that flick, since it was all so fantastical looking. At times it did look decent, but was it really needed??? no, i wouldn't say it was. Now EVERYTHING is 3D, everyone's rushing to edit their films into 3D format to roll in more cash. The latest being Clash of The Titans, which has been getting a very negative response in regards to how POINTLESS the whole 3D is in the film.

Look, i get it, it's Hollywood, it's about money, they found a new toy, they wanna stick it on everything, i understand, but really............give me a fucking break. Next up we have Step Up 3 in 3D for Gods sake. Yes, Step Up, the DANCING 3D? why??? what do i want to see poking out of the screen? a break dance spin? a ballet kick? what???
At LEAST the upcoming Resident Evil 4 was FILMED USING A 3D CAMERA, so they aren't pasting it on afterwards and giving everyone the finger.

At the end of the day, the films themselves are being released in both 2D and 3D, so i HAVE the option to ignore the 3D. When i saw Alice, i chose to use it, when i saw Clash, i ignored it, and that's a good option to have. But when someone like James Cameron works his ass off for nearly a decade developing a new3D format to better the VAST and INTRICATELY DETAILED world of Avatar, it's a bit sad to see every studio clinging to the technology and using it in such a CHEAP way to bring in the masses. If you want it 3D, make it 3D, use the 3D camera to film it. Don't dust a bit of computer 3D onto it like shitty glitter sprinkles and tell me it's "OMG 3D" when it's just a bit of scenery sticking out a little further than usual.

The 3D effects when used right can look really impressive, and it's a shame we aren't savouring that and using it when it's needed and not OVER DOING IT ALL. We've jumped from action films to DANCING movies in 3D, what's next? the new Julia Robert's and Jude Law romantic comedy where we get to see Julia's horse teeth in ALL NEW DIMENSIONAL GLORY?????

Fuck off.


Mas OvaltinePls said...

"The 3D" LOL.

Your ass would break the chairs in the children's reading area.

Anomaly said...

Excuse me!!!! they make dem chairs STURDY for my phat ass okay phag!